Good Morning, It is the day before Thanksgiving....
I am Thankful for all that I have, for all of my family and all of the people that I have encountered throughout my life.
There are many thing that I have gone through in my life that I figure are life challenges from God, that said; I am so tired of coming in dead last all the time...
I read a book a long time ago about our souls..... that got me to thinking about what it may be like to not be HERE ... I could go where I wanted and have no feelings to get hurt or to cause hurt... I have struggled all throughout my so called life, it seems that I take 5 steps back for every two forward. I am always getting told I am not good enough... Not in so many words but in actions of other people around me.
It does not matter what I do it is NEVER enough to satisfy anyone, I work very hard for what littlebit I have, I have people telling me you need to get rid of stuff, you need to throw away what you are not using, you need tooooooooo, What the hell do they know about the reason why I keep everything that I have bought or saved or stashed away for that imperative rainyday.......
Throughout my life I have had to FIGHT for every thankyou, every I care about you, and most of all I love you that I have ever gotten.
I have had people (I feel) not think that I am an honest person, I AM the most Honest person that many people will ever meet... I have integrity for doing the right thing and for TELLING THE TRUTH, some people do not like that about me but that is too bad ..... I do not hold any punches when I speak to people that in my opinion that do not have any common sense and seem that why the hell are you saying that, it sounds like you are stupid....... If you do not like something that I have said say so.. do not go behind my back and say to other people what it is that you think I am wrong about.... I CAN NOT CHANGE IT IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME!!!!!!, I am willing to change if I am spoken to about whatever you think I have done or said that is wrong.. I am also the first person that will tell you if I have broken something or lost something or put something in the wrong place, MOST people will LIE their way out or say I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT GOT THERE...................
Do not feel bad that I am poor, that is how God has made my road in this life to be... maybe I was rich in another life and need to see what the other shoe feels like... this is MY path and I am the ONLY ONE THAT CAN LIVE IT..... On that note DO NOT LOOK DOWN YOUR NOSE at me as though I do not deserve the same RESPECT that you get/or have, because I do deserve that RESPECT.....
They say the people that Smile the most and look happy are the ones that are in the most inner pain... That is SO TRUE... Looks are deceiving... I am Crying on the inside, you just do not see it because you are to busy to see past your nose...........
Thank you LORD for.................................................................................( you fill in the Blank)
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
My Car fire experience....
It happened shortly after I started working at SeaTac Airport. I had a list of items that I needed to purchase for my new job as a Fuller at the Airport. I went to Target in Lakewood near where I lived. I had a Chrysler LEBaron Gray and Black, I had a small boom box between the seats for a radio because the car radio did not work. When I got to the store there was only one place to park... Right between to brand new cars, one a new Lincoln and the other a Brand New Cadillac.... The Lincoln still had the sticker on the back window from the dealership. I went inside and got the items on my list. I talked with several of the people that I used to work with, and went back out to leave to go home, I started my car and right away it caught on fire. There was NO way that I was going to let it sit there next to those new cars and possibly blow up, so I drove it to the overflow parking as far away as I could from everything else. The engine compartment was fully engulfed in flames and it was coming into the car from under the dashboard when the car died.....Scarry..... I took my purse and got out and shut the door.... (mistake #1).... lol see I left my car keys in the ignition...
next I realized that the flight coat was in the back seat and I needed to get it out because it was a $300.00 dollar coat and I had just started that job so I did not have #300.00 dollars to pay for it if it got burned up...... I opened the driver's door to unlock the backdoor (mistake #2) to get the coat out.... as soon as I got the coat out I shut both doors and called 911......... conversation " 911... police, ambulance or fire..... "Fire" "what is the location?" " the Lakewood Mall".. " where at at the Lakewood Mall".... " the overflow parking at the Target location"..... " OH We have had about 30 calls about a car on fire there" "is that what you are calling about?" "YES it is MY car on fire"..... " We have the fire department on their way"...... just as she was saying that the fire trucks came into the entrance of the Mall parking..... and of course it started raining while I was talking to the 911 operator.... LOL
In the meantime there was a Van that had pulled up right next to my car on fire.... What a dumb ASS... I went over and told the guy driving to get away from there, if my car explodes he would get hurt and I ain't paying for his dumb ass......
Fireman.... " are you ok?" "Yes I'm ok but my car is not....." " is there anything that you need out of your car?" " Just my prescription sunglasses from the glovebox"...... Fireman " well I don't know that I can get them, see the glovebox is melted shut, but I will try when we get the fire out" .....Me "OK" just at that time there was a big BOOOOOM..... the right side front tire had exploded..... It was crazy... The entire front right side raised up about two feet in the air and then the tire exploded........ Now I was far enough away from my car not to get hurt... and I was asking if any of the firefighters had brought hot dogs with them..... The one that asked me if there was anything that I wanted from my car came up to me and said " usually in his experience's with car fires, the women that has the car on fire is crying.... I said " why cry there is nothing I can do but watch it go up in flames....." In the meantime... the other firemen were putting the fire hose inside my passenger side window and had turned on the water..... LOLOLOLOLOL you see I had stuffed animals in the hatchback part and there was a Wheal ( Blue & White) just swimming around in the water that was being sprayed....I was laughing at that point.... seeing that whale going around and around with the other stuffed animals.... It was funny.....
The firefighter got a crowbar and popped open the glovebox and got the glasses case out and brought it to me.... the only problem was that the case had a burn on it ... and the other amazing thing is I had a man's cowboy necklace that belonged to my dad and was given to me when he died hanging on the rearview mirror... it was perfect not a burn on it.... (I still have it to this day... the car fire was about 28 years ago.........) I had to pay $50.00 to have my car towed to a junk yard........
next I realized that the flight coat was in the back seat and I needed to get it out because it was a $300.00 dollar coat and I had just started that job so I did not have #300.00 dollars to pay for it if it got burned up...... I opened the driver's door to unlock the backdoor (mistake #2) to get the coat out.... as soon as I got the coat out I shut both doors and called 911......... conversation " 911... police, ambulance or fire..... "Fire" "what is the location?" " the Lakewood Mall".. " where at at the Lakewood Mall".... " the overflow parking at the Target location"..... " OH We have had about 30 calls about a car on fire there" "is that what you are calling about?" "YES it is MY car on fire"..... " We have the fire department on their way"...... just as she was saying that the fire trucks came into the entrance of the Mall parking..... and of course it started raining while I was talking to the 911 operator.... LOL
In the meantime there was a Van that had pulled up right next to my car on fire.... What a dumb ASS... I went over and told the guy driving to get away from there, if my car explodes he would get hurt and I ain't paying for his dumb ass......
Fireman.... " are you ok?" "Yes I'm ok but my car is not....." " is there anything that you need out of your car?" " Just my prescription sunglasses from the glovebox"...... Fireman " well I don't know that I can get them, see the glovebox is melted shut, but I will try when we get the fire out" .....Me "OK" just at that time there was a big BOOOOOM..... the right side front tire had exploded..... It was crazy... The entire front right side raised up about two feet in the air and then the tire exploded........ Now I was far enough away from my car not to get hurt... and I was asking if any of the firefighters had brought hot dogs with them..... The one that asked me if there was anything that I wanted from my car came up to me and said " usually in his experience's with car fires, the women that has the car on fire is crying.... I said " why cry there is nothing I can do but watch it go up in flames....." In the meantime... the other firemen were putting the fire hose inside my passenger side window and had turned on the water..... LOLOLOLOLOL you see I had stuffed animals in the hatchback part and there was a Wheal ( Blue & White) just swimming around in the water that was being sprayed....I was laughing at that point.... seeing that whale going around and around with the other stuffed animals.... It was funny.....
The firefighter got a crowbar and popped open the glovebox and got the glasses case out and brought it to me.... the only problem was that the case had a burn on it ... and the other amazing thing is I had a man's cowboy necklace that belonged to my dad and was given to me when he died hanging on the rearview mirror... it was perfect not a burn on it.... (I still have it to this day... the car fire was about 28 years ago.........) I had to pay $50.00 to have my car towed to a junk yard........
I love my son to no end.....
Today I write because I have a heavy heart:
There are some things that should not happen in one's life that include your children, When they get older they seem to forget that you are their Mother not their best friend that they can walk over or walk on..... That said, I have a great problem that does not allow me to separate me from what or how I feel about things and that sometimes gets in the way of me and the relationship that I have with my children... see I have NO FILTER when it comes to ME.... I love to talk to lots of people and I am friends with lots of people..
One thing I have learned in life is I am the only one that can control how I feel, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THAT, if you allow how someone else caused you to feel it can ruin the person that you are, and if you allow that feeling to engross yourself being for the rest of your life you will not be you...... That said.....
One of my sons is pissed off at me for being "friends" on Facebook with an ex of his and how I reacted to his text message to me long after he BLOCKED me on facebook instead of just messaging me or calling me...... now he is allowing how she made him feel take control of his life up to this point... it is up to him not me to release the way he feels, as I said you are the only person that can control how you feel, when you allow the feeling that someone caused you to feel to take control of yourself being than it is your own damn fault not theirs that you have not gotten over it......( as I said I have no filter), my only hope is that he will see that I meant no harm, and all he needed to do was call me and i would have unfriended her right then and there because I love my son to no end.....
Yes I have unfriended his ex on facebook because I love all three of my children and do not wish to make them uncomfortable over such little things in life... If he wishes not to call or talk to me that is his choice..... but I still love him with all of my being and always will.........
He is as I am Stubborn to no end..........
There are some things that should not happen in one's life that include your children, When they get older they seem to forget that you are their Mother not their best friend that they can walk over or walk on..... That said, I have a great problem that does not allow me to separate me from what or how I feel about things and that sometimes gets in the way of me and the relationship that I have with my children... see I have NO FILTER when it comes to ME.... I love to talk to lots of people and I am friends with lots of people..
One thing I have learned in life is I am the only one that can control how I feel, NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THAT, if you allow how someone else caused you to feel it can ruin the person that you are, and if you allow that feeling to engross yourself being for the rest of your life you will not be you...... That said.....
One of my sons is pissed off at me for being "friends" on Facebook with an ex of his and how I reacted to his text message to me long after he BLOCKED me on facebook instead of just messaging me or calling me...... now he is allowing how she made him feel take control of his life up to this point... it is up to him not me to release the way he feels, as I said you are the only person that can control how you feel, when you allow the feeling that someone caused you to feel to take control of yourself being than it is your own damn fault not theirs that you have not gotten over it......( as I said I have no filter), my only hope is that he will see that I meant no harm, and all he needed to do was call me and i would have unfriended her right then and there because I love my son to no end.....
Yes I have unfriended his ex on facebook because I love all three of my children and do not wish to make them uncomfortable over such little things in life... If he wishes not to call or talk to me that is his choice..... but I still love him with all of my being and always will.........
He is as I am Stubborn to no end..........
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